I have struggled for years to teach my students how to serve, and what it means to be of service to another. But it wasn't until I met a patient I'll call Anna that I discovered the true root of service. Anna, a resident in the nursing home where I work, had recently fallen and was recuperating from surgery to correct her injured left leg. She was an embodiment of emotionality, coming as she did from a home where she had lived with her 90-year-old husband, Harold, for her entire adult life.

"Do you think I will be able to go home?" she asked. I nodded and said, "Anna, we would like to help you walk again. I know you want to be with Harold." Often she would silently cry as she thought that something would happen to him; they were never apart for any length of time. When Harold would visit, Anna would become animated and gaze into his eyes in tacit understanding as if to say, "All will be well, I love you." Each morning, she would gaze at his picture, taken when they were married some 68 years ago. She showed such admiration and respect for Harold, noting, "We still love each other very much."

An example to new nurses

Her face was innocent and sweet. She had gnarled hands and very thin hair. As she talked to me, she stumbled with her words. Parkinson's disease had taken its toll on her voice and hands. I noted tremors in both hands as she tried her best to feed herself breakfast, spilling her coffee many times. "Can I help, Anna? This can be challenging for you, I see."

"Sure," she replied, smiling. It was then that I noticed she had no teeth. Her dentures were too large for her mouth due to recent weight loss.

Each day, she would greet me with her unforgettable smile. There is much to be learned here, I thought. She mirrored each and every one of the virtues that I have struggled for years to impart to my own student nurses: compassion, suspension of judgment, humility, empathy, and steadfastness. So I had the students take care of Anna each week. "She is so sweet," they told me.

It was difficult for Anna to walk; she couldn't stand well. Circulation in her left leg was so impaired that it swelled, and she complained of unrelenting pain. She was transported to a local ED, where Harold met her. Anna slowly dipped into unconsciousness and became very pale. In a matter of hours, she passed away. Harold told the ED staff that his job to serve Anna "in sickness and in health would never end."

Each patient embodies a lesson in care

In her vulnerability and aged innocence, Anna could not help but inspire the deepest compassion in all who knew her. She portrayed not something contrived or textbook-oriented, but something very personal and present, as if each one of our future selves was mirrored in her nonjudgmental gaze.

RITA BERGEVIN, RN, MA, BC, is a clinical assistant professor at the Decker School of Nursing, Binghamton University, Binghamton, NY, and nursing supervisor at Ideal Senior Living Center, Endicott, NY.